My chemical romance

People, like Jara, ask: what do you mean chemo is preventative? How do you know what to do, etc....?????? 

Here's the thing - let's say my body is a hotel. The Four Seasons Austin? The Maui Kea Lani? How about The Plaza? We can all visualize that even if we've never been (like I've never). 

So these scruffy rogue cancer cells were in the threshold (lymph nodes) of The Plaza (the me). Only a few of them were found loitering in the foyer, some of them casually going around and around the revolving door, in/out/in/out. Kinda unclear where they were going. Some appear to have been seen flirting with a bellboy, others could've been inching toward an elevator. 

Rumors were spread that they were thinking of hitting the stairs and meeting in the boiler room. Our cameras were not able to see every corner but these are seriously bad guys who could burn this whole joint down if they get in and set up camp. We wanted them to go away.

The uninvited nasties MAY have come in to the hotel. 

Ponder there. Are they here? Where? Unknown. Unknowable.

We will now flood the hotel with poison in hopes that we drown any rogue cancer dudes. This is very hard on the hotel but we feel it's necessary. It's hell on the carpet and drapes, not to mention downstairs. The boiler room could blow up, in the kitchen cakes could refuse to rise, and the cocktail bar could become nepharious. No matter - in other hotels gangs of these carcinogenic types have poured in and clumped up in one room - like the laundry room, or the presidential suite. You can see them with x-ray specs. In a hotel down the street where we could get a clear view of a huge gang clumped up in the maids' poker room, a poisonous flood was sent into the hotel, and later after a few floodings we peered in at the poker room and could see that the gang had shrunk. I prefer the word shrinked. This gave the doctors warm feelings that their poison was a super idea. Yay! they said, we are smart! It's working!

In my hotel we do NOT KNOW:

1. If the rogue cancer cells found in my doorway (lymph node) were only sitting in there, lymphing around, loitering scarily but not dangerously...OR, if they jumped into the stream, the river, the wormhole, the elevator, the ocean current - that lets them float, like Dori, to any other room in me. We have no intel. We do not know.

2. How many cancer cells there may be in me. One? 500? 22,464? A million? Zero? We do not know. 

3. IF THERE ARE ANY in me (although probably yuppers). We do not know.

4. Where they are if they are  here - no clumps were seen, so most like there are rogue creeps running about my hallways looking for a place to camp. We do not know.

But. One bad guy in and he's in no need of a chick to reproduce - he's a regular self perpetuating bastard. Is he in? We do not know.

So - we bomb the whole place - in hopes of killing any cancer cells that could be anywhere. A rather primitive strategy. But man against nature, against billions of years of evolution? We are primitive. Nature will win. 

Breast cancer likes to hop the highway and go to the lungs, brain, or bone. Then kill ya.

So yes I'm doing chemo

No I won't be able to see if it's working

Call me in 20 years - if I answer it probably worked

I'm ok with the we do not know but

I'm tired 

Some people that make me smile: