Musings from the lab

We started out bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Taught half a class, bid adieu to my students after giving them a gnarly in-class task to keep their brain cells tied up, and then over the hills we go to CHEMO! 

Now.

Here I am comfily ensconced in my ecru lounge chair, with Cytoxan and Taxotere dripping in to my veins. I've been blasted with a constellation of steroids - anybody wanna hang out tonight at 2 am for a fight or card game? I hear I may sleep in a few days when I crash off the steroids - the only problem is that when that occurs you tend to feel like a limp liverwurst sandwich with a side of worm basil pasta. That may happen around Saturday. Or something.

My day so far:

They installed my huber needle in to my port. Oh my god the needle was curved like a harpoon, thick, and two hundred inches long. Sharp at the end like a Moby Dick catcher. My cute nurse Sabrina sprayed me with a chilling thing over my bump and I felt a puncture like rubber but it didn't hurt. Sort of. Then they put me on steroids and anti nausea drip stuff for a while. Easy peasy.

My nurse is snarky - I like that.

Now I'm on drug two of three. Had Taxotere - felt nothing. Now Cytoxan, and I feel weirdly tired and a teeny bit spacey - but could be due to laying around like a slug for 3 hours.

The dreaded Adriamycin sits.

Red.

In a cow sized syringe.

Coming soon.

Last drug of the day.

I accidentally read a damn other blog last night about this red hellion and how if it gets on the skin it blisters and burns and won't stop - it can burn for days, weeks, and months - through the skin, muscle, and bone! Causes amputation or death. Eh what!!!! So I asked Dr. G how in the world of spandex (a Violet phrase) can you inject this dreadful caustic poison inside my body yet it will kill somebody if it gets on the outside of their body, I mean are my veins made literally out of rubber or what? Teflon? She said yes it is amazing and does scar the veins a bit but it's mostly ok. So I guess I'm mostly okay with it too. Here goes.

Now.

It's going in. Feels a bit weird. Don't love it but I'm ok.

Ha ha this is a funny picture but really I feel pretty fine. Mike is watching Jimmy Fallon and Mona brought me a Daily Greens drink so it's all good. 

Friends in the woodwork came out.

Neighbors are friends.

Old friends never went away.

I'm infused with a steady avalanche of loving friends and a super sweet husband and I'm building a shrine to you all. Thank you.

Here's a poem.

	Khalil GibranBiography

Friendship IXX

And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship." Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay." And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?  Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Khalil Gibran

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