Monday, November 11, 2013

Tangerine


I feel pretty good today, despite the fact that I went to bed last night at about 10:32 PM, and I woke up at 1:01 AM. For the day. I'm not sleeping much right now, I guess it's anxiety, although it just feels like free-floating nothingness. I think I'm really dreading the chemo on Thursday.

Right now the sun is shining, I'm eating a very delicious and tiny tangerine and grading papers while watching Scandal, so life seems pretty good.
My dear sweet friend Vicki is coming from California this week, to hang out with me and celebrate her birthday and deal with me while I feel horribly disgusting. I'm very sorry that I'm not gonna be at my best when she's here, but also very happy that she'll be here with me. She was my roommate for eight or nine years and we used to joke that we were going to get married. I know her so well that I actually remember things like her dreams, and things that she did when she was a little girl, even though I wasn't there, and I don't live inside her mind. Well I do live inside her mind in some ways. Like this one time she had a dream about running along with all these little round pink pigs running in front of her. One or two of them kept kind of rolling up into little round balls, and she was leaning over and kind of patting and rolling them ahead with her hand and singing "keep going little pigs keep rolling!" Or something like that. We both like to remember this dream that she had. 

Anyway you may see Vicki whizzing around in my minivan with me in the passenger seat hanging out the window or something. We've seen each other in almost every way a person can be, and now she gets to seeing me going through chemotherapy. 

Our usual favorite pastime luncheonette time is getting some really good French bread and toasting it, and then making little triangular open faced tuna salad sandwiches, and eating 14 of them each along with grapefruit soda and salt and vinegar potato chips. Will give this a whirl while she's here. She loves to go for walks, too bad she fell in a pothole yesterday and twisted her ankle. She like to fall down a lot, like this one time in California when she was at a little lunch place, it might've even been La Madeliene or someplace like that where you have a tray. Anyway she was wearing a dress and she was carrying her tray full of tinkery tinkley clickety-clackity plates and glasses and napkins and silverware and salad and a drink and she could feel herself about to wipe out so she yelled out "Coming down!" or something. And then she wiped out all over the place with her high-heeled shoes and her fancy purse and her jewelry and her skirt and her lipstick. Vicki kindly ignore whatever things I've told incorrectly about you, and feel free to edit this in the notes below. Anyway hope you'll get the gist of it. And see why I love her so much. She is simply herself. 

Vicki hurry up and get here. She calls me Lima. I call her Victrola.

Today after I took a shower my drain had a little forest floor in it, a little one eighth of an inch thick coveting of blackish looking hairs. A small continent. And my hairdo is feeling kind of sparse like a forest fire forest or something. Should I pull the rest of it out, shave it, clipper it, or just rub it off? When I lay my head down it feels like I'm laying on a prickle bush. Like I landed on Mrs. Tiiggywinkle.


That stuff in my hand there is after taking the brush just one pass through my 2 inch long hair. Kind of gross huh?

Despite all this I'm in a good mood and I'm off to lunch at Austin 24 Diner. See you later.

9 comments:

  1. I'm glad your friend is coming to be with you and I'm sorry you're already dreading chemo...just know that just when you absolutely can't handle chemo anymore that's when you'll have your last treatment. You find you have just enough strength to get through it and your friend being there will give you so much more.
    If you shave your hair you will still have the little stubbles falling out. It will help with the follicle pain, but still be weird.
    Your writing is raw and beautiful and I enjoy reading your posts, but pissed off for you that you have to go through it...i hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too weird.
    Anyway, if you don't post again before your next treatment then good luck. I hope it goes quickly and may you have plenty of zofran and percocet.

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  2. Enjoy Vicki! I know you will relish her company. The shower photos were intriguing. I could not stop staring at them. I am glad you shared them, so I see what you are experiencing more completely. I miss you terribly, and am relieved you have such a strong support system.

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    1. It's always nice to see my best pals - like YOU. I loved your visit!

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  3. Will the Red Devil be visiting during chemo, or not?

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    1. Yes unfortunately - I will give it another go. This time I'll have a better drug to help supposedly.,,

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  4. I am glad your friend is coming in. You are surrounded with Love.
    Your hair in the sink pic is GROSS. :)

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  5. Love the pig dream. I'm having pig dream envy. Happy for you that Vicki will be here for the next round.

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    1. Me too! I know, that dream is hilarious. And I probably got it kind of wrong.

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